Updates. May 11, 2011

Time for a much needed update! Since my last post I have,

* starting working part-time, for my own sanity and to keep in touch with the marketplace – before I get totally obsolete!

*been busy raising two crazy-cute and active boys. You’d be interested to know my 7 mth old keep me on my toes as much as his 2.5 yr old brother does.

*started cooking meals at home – and no, I don’t mean sandwiches with the corners cut off. My long-suffering family is actually starting to enjoy the food too, which is nice. Am also becoming an expert at hiding veg in food and feeding it to them.

It seems like my days are chockful with activities, and I thought there would be so much more to write – but there it is. Distilled in 3 points. My GP teacher would be proud.

My head might explode. November 13, 2010

One month into being a family of four, and I’ve realised that:

– I may actually go insane if I have to take care of two kids under two all the time. Especially since I can’t drive  ( I CAN’T DRIVE!)

– Having kids is expensive.I’m not sure what happens…but the household bills just keep going up like crazy.

– I’m truly dreading next Sunday when the confinement nanny leaves.

– Our flat is too small to have live-in help.

– I am still opposed to the idea of live-in help. I probably will still feel this way if I have 5 kids. Not that I’m planning to have 5 kids anytime soon.

– We have decisions to make. Whether t0 put M in preschool – he is now in a screaming/yelling phase, so that should be fun. And whether I should go back to work- we keep coming back to this one over and over, and now, the pros ($$$$!) may really outweigh the cons. We’ll see. I’m going to pray. There doesn’t seem any clear solution to any of this. Can I just say? Being an adult is so not fun sometimes.

Almost a month. November 10, 2010

Little Ezra decided to join us a few weeks early:) And it really is true when people tell you that each birth is different. Micah was early too, but nice and straightforward; my water broke, and it was a no-brainer that I had to head to the hospital. Even my contractions  were texbook cramp-like pains. This was pretty much the scenario I was expecting with LittlE. I was SO wrong! With spectacularly bad timing, X, Mster and I caught a bad flu bug which we took nearly 3 weeks to fully recover from. So I didn’t think much of it, when I woke up sweaty and feeling really exhausted one morning. Then, I started getting these horrible sharp tummy pains, but convinced myself that it was because I was a.sick, and b.very pregnant and still lifting Mster everywhere (he was still sick and clingy). I  plodded through the day, sweating from the pain and telling myself it was normal. It was only at 3am the next morning, when I couldn’t sit or stand from the stabbing pains, that I thought, maybe, just maybe, I should head to the hospital now, just in case. Things moved quickly from there, and about an hour later, Ezra Jeevan Xavier was born:) He’s tiny, but so was M, so I’m not worried. The best part is that the breastfeeding has been a breeze, thank God.  We are still working out the family dynamics, and M has been testing our patience,but it’ll sort itself out. We have a new baby!

4 Things I Love about Motherhood August 21, 2010

How hard it is.

Right, so you’ve heard the rumours. Parenthood is tough. And being a stay-at-home mother sometimes feels like a daily battle. But I have to confess, I love the challenge. Despite being a complete routine freak, no two days are the same with Mster. He picks up new skills daily, and constantly throws me a curve ball when I least expect it. But this is the part I love – being able to wing it.

The man my husband has become.

I had a lot of doubts about whether marriage with the X would work. We are as polar opposites as it gets. Even my parents who would’ve been relieved to see me marry ( any man at all), balked at the idea. But any question marks I had about the man completely disappeared when M turned up. X was the first to do everything for him, since I was so out of it after the C-sec, and even when we got home. He’s an expert diaper-changer, burper, lullaby-crooner and best-friend/hero to M. He is in his element as a father. And he’s not too shabby a husband either. A defining moment for me, when was a few days into confinement, I was exhausted, dishevelled and smelt of old milk, and X came into the room where I was staring at my wide-awake unsmiling baby, who was surely working his way up to a new fit of wailing. He just put his arm around me, and said, ‘you will always come first with me. I hope you know that right?’ It didn’t register then, but it set the tone for our relationship.

Appreciating my own parents.

It’s true. You never fully understand the sacrifices your parents made, until you have kids of your own. I still marvel at how my parents put their own ambitions and plans on hold to make sure that my brother and I realised ours. My parents dragged us along on every holiday they went on, even when we were adamant we didn’t want to go. And each one was meticulously planned by my mum, who wanted us to gain maximum exposure and kept it all within budget. She also took cooking classes and turned out new dishes weekly for us – and we never even ate the same meal for lunch and dinner. And she did it all while holding down a full-time job. One of my best memories was of my Papa coming home during his 1 hr break just to read with me, and speeding back to school to start his evening classes. Much later I realised, he didn’t have time for a toilet break! I hope I do half as good a job as them.

Leaning on others.

It really does take a village. People give me too much credit as a SAHM. What they don’t see is my parents taking M for a morning stroll, my mum-in-law watching him one afternoon a week while I nap and even the friends who call and chat just to keep me sane some days. Its nice to have a support network that holds us up. I’m truly blessed.

A weekend well spent. August 14, 2010

Technically, we’re only halfway through, but we did good this week:D

Spent the evening at Vivocity where M promptly fell in love with a grotty basketball in Toys R Us and insisted on carrying it around the store, stopping every once in a while to point out stuff to it ( yes, to the ball). Worryingly also caught him talking to it fondly. X gave out sage ( yet unsolicited ) advice to a mum buying a toy drum. I found some nice toys for M, and bagged a storecard as well. We rounded up the night with dinner at BK ( furtively eaten, turning our heads away from M, as I sped-fed him his much more nutritious chicken porridge). I wonder how long we can keep this up. Also managed to get some sandals for Mster from Kidstyle – they have an interesting trade-in, where you trade in any shoes for $20 off a single footwear purchase, or sandals for $10 off your next pair of footwear. Pretty good deal!

Not that I don’t like my life now. July 7, 2010

But there are things that I miss. Like,

1. Serving in church. Well, serving in the music ministry.

2. Holding hands with X without juggling toddler/piles of washed laundry/diaper bag and assorted large bags that seem to mysteriously follow us wherever we go.

3.Not thinking about anything. Just having the luxury to stone. Mindlessly.

4.Unscheduled naps. LONG naps.Sandwiched in lazy days with NO schedule.

5.Having a martini. Or 5. Why is it that the martini moments are always the ones where you have kids and can’t drink?

6.Eating dinner and having a conversation at the same time. With Xavier. Which literally hasn’t happened in nearly two years. And no, conversations about where the kid has sprouted new bumps or the next day’s schedule don’t count.

7. A flat stomach. ( will my belly button ever look less disfigured than it does now?)

8. Late night running without having to worry about the next feed.

When I look back, I sometimes feel like I have morphed a fair bit. Although I’m holding on as much as I can to who I am – I am being stretched ( literally) in ways I never thought I could be. I love being a mum, but there is certainly a bit of me that will leap for joy once I get time to myself back.

An update. June 28, 2010

Its been ages since I found the time or energy to post. Or had anything particularly worthwhile to say. So here’s an update. In the past few weeks:

First I was on 2 weeks bed rest.

Then M came down with a crazy fever which the doc thought was H1N1. NOT a fun time.

X then caught the same flu bug. Two sick boys and one pregnant me. Just glad its behind us.

June holidays rolled around, and we went to Phuket which was our first family holiday. It was nice except for M’s terrible overindulgence of Thai food and french fries on Day 1, which led to a bout of constipation and subsequent refusal to eat ANYTHING the rest of the trip. So we went through milk formula like water.

M has formed a strange bond with X, and refuses to go near anyone else when he’s with Appa. Including me. Which I am TOTALLY pleased about. Thinking of how to sic no.2 on X as effectively.

I am absolutely exhausted from being huge and having to care for M. Its the little things, like bending down to pick up toys, that completely wipe me out. I had a little flash of clarity last week – after I had bathed M, made his lunch, fed him and cleaned the flat. I just lay winded on the couch as he watched me. M totally wanted to play, but I was struggling just to stay awake, and couldn’t even read a story to him. Wiped.Out. And I realised, this was what I was going to end up doing for the next few years, cooking and cleaning and struggling to stay awake while I miss out on any actual meaningful interaction with my kids. I try, but seriously, housework is not a core competency. I’ve decided to make peace with this fact, and we are looking into hiring a full-time helper. I don’t think my boys ( or X) will particularly appreciate me martyring myself. I will probably have to go back to full-time work once Baby E is 6 months old – now THAT is giving me sleepless nights. I don’t want to miss out on anything in his growing up years. The best part of staying home with M is seeing his amazing character develop daily. Plus, I can read him like a book – which averts SO many disasters. Even as I type this, X has come in to show me M’s bottle teat which the kid has neatly bitten in half before going to bed. Who does that??! So I’m praying for wisdom to proceed.

Hopefully its not another few months before the next update.

What to do …what to do…. May 11, 2010

At a bit of a loose end as my work meeting fell through and I’m sans Mster today. He’s gone off to terrorise his grandparents and the next-door dog for a change. Possibly I need to teach him not to violently shake the divider fence to get said dog’s attention. I’ve cleared some work, and am putting off tidying the flat. What’s a procrastinator to do?

In my case, you start planning for your son’s 2nd bday which is a grand 7 months away. I’m archiving some great deco ideas plus chivvying my sis-in-law round to the idea of baking the cake. In my defence, I will need to finish all the prep by mid-oct, since I will be busy with no.2 after that.

My to do list so far:

Settle guest list.

Do not invite 120 people like 1st bday.

Settle caterer ( menu, white table skirting, tables)

Chope parents house for party.

Book cleaner to clean pig sty of house.

Get balloons and helium canister

Get friend to fill balloons since I am freaked out by balloons bursting, and X refuses to do it by himself.

Settle menu cards, give-aways, table deco

Stuff to keep kids occupied.

Drinks. To keep adults occupied.

Play video of the Mster in action?

Cake!

Its all good:) May 7, 2010

Thank God for dedicated doctors. The nurses at the hospital gave me the run around for two whole days. I made over 20 phonecalls and got bounced back between 4 or 5 different clinics and had 3 different nurses promise to call me. Who never did. I got multiple ridiculous reasons including : the results will be out tomorrow, out in one week, out in 2 weeks, we have the fax now but no hard copy and can’t release the results, we can’t read the results only a doctor can, the results are in clinic A, B, AMK, not here. And of course, the priceless, ‘Dr. T doesn’t work here anymore’. Which is when I cracked and called the main line and insisted they page him directly for me. The poor man finished his clinic two hours late, and called me at 630pm. He then personally chased down the results for an hour and called me at 730 to let me know that everything looks normal. I love this man. I’m serious.

And its a boy. I’m officially outnumbered:) Micah is also picking up on the fact that there’s a baby on the way. We’ve progressed from him giving me a blank stare to actually lifting up my top and poking my belly button when I ask , ‘Where’s baby?’. A vast improvement from when he used to point at himself:D The belly button thing was very cute for the first two days, but now as long as you say baby, he lifts up my top and I end up flashing all and sundry. Hopefully he doesn’t do it in church ( But I KNOW he will).

Update. May 6, 2010

I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised by my CVS test. It didn’t start out too well at the hospital. When they explained the procedure it sounded quite painful, and I was glad to hear that I’d get a local anaesthetic. They also explained the post-procedure where I’d have to rest for 30-45minutes – so obviously, I was imagining lying in some quiet room somewhere and taking a little snooze. So naive. To my horror, I realised the waiting room doubled as the recovery room – so you get to come back out and sit down for 30minutes before moving on to the next appointment. It was HORRIFIC waiting. The 3 women before me came out clutching their tummies and full-on crying in pain. I was so freaked out. Thankfully X was there. Of course Mr. Macho who knew the place would be freezing, just wore bermudas and a soccer jersey. He spent most of his time rocking back and forth like he was in widthrawal and whining that he had to pee. Sometimes I swear I have two kids. At least it was a diversion. Strangely, my experience was fairly painless! I did spend most of it with my eyes squeezed shut and mumbling the Lord’s Prayer under my breath – which got me alarmed looks from the nurse and prompted the doc to ask mid-procedure ‘Are you Catholic?’ Hahaha..I thoroughly embarrassed myself, but hey, it worked. Somehow, I felt completely at peace and could actually focus on praying in the middle of all that was happening. I’m not the most focussed person even on the best of days, so I’m thankful. It was quite cool to see the bits of tissue in the tube – not that I want to repeat the epxerience. Ever.

Still waiting for results and hoping for the best.